Therapy Sessions with the Author
by klcthenerd
Summary: I wrote this funny little drabble thing in a stressful time when I couldn't write chapter 8 of my other story, The Power of a Pirate's Love. I hope you like!


So yeah. I wrote this while I was stressing about Chapter 7 of _The Power of a Pirate's Love_. It's not exactly a story, It's like a therapy session for the characters as well as me, the author. No offense to people who actually do have schizophrenia. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with it. Please tell me if you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own POTC or any characters. That would be Disney. **Disney**. **Not Kelsey**.

Elizabeth: Well, I'll go first then. The author _clearly_ has no consideration for me, nor any of the other characters at all! We've been stuck in chapter 8 for 2 bloody weeks, for Christ's sake! It's a little too much suspense for my liking. Especially since she's already **planned out** the rest of the story!

Annabelle: And Kelsey, how does what Elizabeth -turns to Elizabeth and breaks off mid-sentence- 'Elizabeth' is so formal, not to mention a handful to type. May I call you Lizzie?

Elizabeth: No.

Annabelle: Alright then. So Kelsey, how does what Lizzie -insert eyeroll from Elizabeth- said make you feel?

Kelsey: -on the verge of hyperventilating- Well, I honestly find it unfair. I mean, _I'm_ the author. I know what they -points to pirates- are going through. But on the other hand, they cannot _comprehend_ what I am struggling through.

Annabelle: Go on...

Kelsey: I mean, I have summer school Monday through Thursday, I am constantly going places because I do not have the capability of saying 'No'. Not to mention the two Harry Potter releases_ and_ the fact that I need to hurry up and finish reading my book before _Deathly Hallows _comes out.

Jack: We all have our own problems, mate. It seems like you're just being selfish, what with watching movies non-stop.

Kelsey: -flares up in anger- For your information, I have been watching Pride and Prejudice because it is a wonderful and inspiring movie.

Will: What about all the times you go _out_ to the movies?

Kelsey: Let's just say that _I_ am the reason _Pirates of the Caribbean 3_ is still playing in my theater. That was purely for research, by the way. -hides the fact it was to watch Orlando Bloom and shamelessly drool over his hotness.-

Alese: I _highly_ doubt that it took **nine times** to complete your research, 'Oh Great One'.

Kelsey: Don't **make **me kill you!

Annabelle: Kelsey...No threats.

Alese: -smiles evily-

Kelsey: -muttering- Oh she is _sooooo_ going down.

Will: And why, exactly are you writing this when you could be writing us out of our current position on deck?

Kelsey: Well-

Lizzie: _Our_ position on deck? Excuse _me_, mister 'I think I need some time alone to sort things out cause I'm so emo, boo-hoo-hoo'.

Will: Do you **want** me to choose you?

Lizzie: -shuts up-

Alese: Will, do you _really_ want to choose someone who will mock and disrespect you?

Lizzie: Rubizio, don't **make**me list all the ways I'm better for him than _you_ are. Again.

Jack: -delighted- Oh, lovely! Catfight!

-All turn to stare at Jack.-

Kelsey: You know, if I could just leave...It's 10:00 p.m. in my world, and I need to read 2 1/2 chapters in about 45 minutes. And with my short attention span...

Lexy: No, Let's stay. You know this is fun.

Alese: Who the bloody hell is that?

Kelsey: Not Sure. Maybe-

Lexy: I'm one of Kelsey's Alter egos. Today, I happen to be the evil force keeping her typing instead of reading or writing. I'm your worst nightmare.

-All gasp in shock-

Lizzie: The feind!

Lexy: ...Unless your name's Elizabeth.

Lizzie: I retract my statement. Go on.

Lexy: You, Lizzie, need to worry about her _other_ alter ego. Well, one in particular, really. Alese Rubizio?

-All turn to look at Alese, who is shifting her eyes left and right like a ninja.-

Will: I slept with an **alter-ego**? I think I'm going to be sick.

Lizzie: -turns abruptly to Will-

Lizzie: -Turns to Alese, unsheathing her sword- You sicken me. You have taken everything that rightfully belongs to me. Prepare to die.

Alese: -Reaches for her sword, but decides against it- No. No...I think I shall just get you back in chapter 8. Just like Kelsey planned **two weeks ago**. I'm out. -stands up and walks out door.-

Lizzie: -turns to Kelsey- How's she going to get me back? -sheathes sword.-

Kelsey: I'd tell you, but you'd really ought not to know.

Lizzie: I swear! This is what I get for placing my life in the hands of a schizophrenic fourteen year old. -Storms angrilly out of the room-

Annabelle: So what about you two gentlemen?

Will: Well, I'd really like to hurry up and get to chapter nine so I can sort my thoughts. I have one hell of a headache. Nasty, really.

Jack: Oh, come on. What's a little pain?

Will: I don't know Jack, why don't _you_ tell _me_ when you have a migraine for about two weeks. A **never-ending** migraine.

Jack: -cringes-

Annabelle: Unfortunately you three - er - four, we've run out of time today. We can continue this another day, if Kelsey doesn't get her arse moving.

Will and Jack: -stare pointedly at Kelsey.-

Kelsey: -in a trance, slowly walks over-

Will && Jack: -Confused-

Kelsey: -Hugs Will. Then whispers to herself, inadvertidly quoting FRIENDS, or getting close to the quote- It's just like I'd dreamed it would be.

Will: -Awkwardly pats her back- Well, you better get off to reading now.

Jack: -watches the scene before him with amusement.-

Kelsey: -reluctantly lets go.- I suppose your right. Good day you two. -finger guns-

Will and Jack: -Leave-

Annabelle: That didn't help at all.

Kelsey: -sighs- I thought you'd be the alter-ego in charge of therapy, apparently not.

Lexy: -Evil laugh-

Kelsey: Unnecessary

Annabelle: -thinking back on session- Jack needs major counseling.

Kelsey and Lexy: Yeah.

Apparently, so do I!!!


End file.
